I am officially a candidate for President of the United States in 2024 and you should do it also.

I went to the website for the Federal Elections Commission.

I filled out all the paperwork. It took me ten minutes. It cost me zero money. Now I am an official…

- Jerry Seinfeld.

“It’s his first book filled with practical advice that has worked for him and others. I wish I read it when I was a young comedian.” )

After I had gone broke the first time, I booked myself into a hotel room. I wanted to spend a day away from computers, away from my phone, away from people, away from THINGS.

I needed to think. I was scared. I had no money left. I had a huge…

I’m scared. 80,000,000 people are going to be upset tonight no matter who wins the election.

Buildings are boarded up in every major city. Riot gear is being handed out. Security companies are being hired to add protection. …

My first instinct last night at the debate I was participating in was to play a joke and ruin the whole debate:

Just RUIN it.

Here’s how:

A) The guy debating me would state his argument

B) I would say immediately, “You know what, you’re absolutely right. You convinced me…

My article, “NYC is Dead Forever: Here’s Why” was read by over 30,000,000 people.

I can add together the number of people who read it on the various platforms plus the results from all the shares and I actually come up with a much higher number. …

“Why are people so racist against Green people?”


The two producers on the Zoom call were not sure what I was asking about. The audio engineer had muted himself. The other audio engineer was confused because he didn’t grow up in this country.

Even David Banner, known for being…

I’ve watched the proceedings on Amy Barrett. Normally I would never watch this for obvious reasons. They are super boring.

But, as is common in American politics lately, these proceedings are hilarious.

I’ve never seen an improv group as good as these Senators.

They basically can KILL for eight straight…

Loraine wrote, “Shame on you, you are the example of ignorance with a platform to express your ignorance.”

I don’t know who she is. But after I wrote my recent article, “Why I Won’t Vote”, she was upset at me:

She wrote:

“We MUST vote to ensure our country’s freedom…

I’m not going to vote. I’ve never voted in a Presidential election. And in the 34 years that I’ve been allowed to vote, I’ve only voted in two local elections. Once in 1991 and once in 2004.

I’ve been vote shamed all of my life. It’s part of the American…

James Altucher

For some reason, I’ve turned myself inside out and all my guts have spilled onto my blog. One day I’ll run out of stuff but not yet. http://bit.ly/2blmiaG

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